Demo Derby Debacle'06: Dude, Where's My Pants?

BREAKING! CLICK HERE Demolition Derby '06

STREAKER Seamus McKinney CAUGHT IN ACT VIDEO

(CAUTION: Violence, Nudity)
(Video courtsey of Redneck Racing)

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(Photo Captions & Credits: Jackson Police Officer Michelle Weber & Jackson Chief of Police Dan Zivkovich) By Gil Brady for The Cowboy Times

"Nothing spells N-E-W-S like a naked guy getting 'Tased' at a Demo Derby!"

By GIL BRADY, Staff ink-stained wretch

TETON COUNTY, Wyo. (CT) -- One year ago this week, a bare-assed young Yankee dashed across the rodeo grounds here—nude, fire extinguisher in hand, police and sheriff’s deputies in hot pursuit before about 3,000 screaming onlookers—and into Wyoming folklore when a sheriff’s deputy “Tased” him moments before the Demolition Derby winner-takes-all round at the 49th annual Teton County Fair.

The very next day Richard Anderson, my erstwhile editor, after inspecting the dramatic stop-action photos of “The Streaker,” a.k.a. John Rodgers, by Andrew Wyatt, republished here with his permission, grinned owlishly beneath his glasses and quipped: “Nothing spells news like a naked guy getting ‘tased’ at a demo derby.”

Andersons must be the Zen masters of understatement. For within days of publishing "The Streaker" tale on-line, illustrated by Wyatt’s outrageously sensational photos, a producer from The Daily Show e-mailed me wondering if I knew how to contact Mr. Rodgers. Apparently, within 24 hours of Rodgers' story being published on Aug. 1 last year, Planet Jackson Hole's web server recorded nearly 25,000 hits. Enough activity to generate buzz around the Planet's shrimpy office and disrupt our already helter-skelter workflow as no story beforehand had earned such intense public interest. To date, no other news event, save Vice-President Cheney's mysterious comings and goings, has drawn as much outside scrutiny and attention to Jackson Hole either.

Were it not for the combination of Andrew Wyatt’s photos and Planet Jackson Hole’s slick web design and growing presence—much of it courtesy of Danny Haworth’s many talents, including some early reporting on the streaker-taser story—and many other folks, from publisher Mary Grossman to art director Jeana Haarman--and other nameless contributors driving the story of Mr. Rodgers' bold decision, my non-pictorialized tale of one man’s dashing tail would have vanished into the never-ending maw of cyber news. To all involved: Gratis. And a special gratis to Andrew Wyatt for capturing a most indelibly bizarre and memorable moment in time that many of us won’t soon forget and are still grappling with to comprehend.

Since enough time has passed and all legal proceedings have run their course, a note on how Mr. Rodgers' notorious sprint was acquired is in order.

Twenty-four hours after getting shocked by Teton County Sheriff’s Deputy Todd Stanyon, a friend of Rodgers put us in touch and by 10 pm he stood before me, removed his shirt, and showed me two vampire-like nicks high on his shoulder blade, which he described as a still physically painful and personally humiliating experience. He also complained that one side of his body was half numb. Aside from the intial punishment of being tased to the ground and paraded out of the arena completely naked, Rodgers said that the cops treated him well and inflicted no additional hardships during his time in their custody.

Intially, “The Streaker” struck me as shy and very naïve about what he was getting into by courting the press. His reticence, however, could have simply been the natural result of all the hoopla now invading his formerly anonymous life as a rafting guide and understandable wariness of strangers in the aftermath of a night in jail with, as he said, little sleep and only Cheerios, eggs, orange juice, and a Sloppy Joe to tide him over until he was sprung the following day.

Soon, however, Rodgers was reveling in his newfound celebrity, improvising how he might parlay it all, his clinging buddies boasting of all the women they would now impress, as John characterized his very public display of nudity as a spontaneous act of creative self-expression and not one of premeditated and pornographic debauchery. Besides making interesting distinctions between "nakedness" and "nudity," Rodgers stuck by his freedom of expression philosophy for a day or two until he realized that the unrelenting, albeit generally sympathetic, media frenzy hounding him might compromise his plea negotiations with Sheriff Zimmer and the Teton County Prosecutor’s office.

Rodgers’ legal-political process ended with his charge of “misdemeanor interference with a peace officer” being dismissed last October, and his pleading guilty to a stuffy sounding town offense of “disturbing meetings” and paying a fine of $250 as well as being ordered to complete 25 hours of community service.

Rodgers and I met the Monday night following his release from jail in the converted upstairs condo-editorial suite of Planet Jackson Hole. Two of Rodger’s party-on guy friends escorted him and waited downstairs as we talked over Budweisers for the next hour or so with Rodgers vacillating between speaking frankly and vetting his words. Sensing he was a first-time newsmaker, I, rightly or wrongly, decided to grant him special consideration and win his guarded trust by advising him to think carefully before speaking, as once his words went to print they would likely stay with him forever.

Anderson and I debated my technique as well as my other suggestion that we delay identifying Rodgers right away. I was banking on Rodgers opening up more and explaining himself, and possibly giving us future exclusives, if we could protect his identity for a time. Sticking by his AP-style reporting ethos and knowing damn well that the daily JH News & Guide had already identified Rodgers in their reporting on the incident, Anderson insisted on running Rodgers' name and as editor prevailed.

Ironically, my assignment on the night of the demo derby was not to report but to photograph it. Arriving just as the qualifying first heat began, my ancient Pentax K-1000 over my shoulder as I tried to convince security I was an actual media type and not another half-baked drunk trying to hustle his way in for free, which we are so often and rightly confused for, I snapped some shots of the crowd in the setting sun and suped-up cars steaking in and spitting dirt.

After burning a few rolls from earlier races, toward sunset I noticed Planet photographer Andrew Wyatt, dressed in his famously exotic hippie threads—are they Guatemalan, Tibetan, Vesuvian?—in center ring taking mad close-ups of crunched cars and smoldering torn-to-hell heaps and knew I could kick back somewhat to enjoy the main event: The Winner-Takes-All Round.

Images and memories of the seconds before Rodgers sensational high-tailing-it appear as if warping dioramas: the white water truck circling the pit; people on top waving, water hoses dampening down the cloudy dirt; the faceless blur of the crowd on the far side; the hard to recall funk of petroleum, marijuana and burnt rubber; the weird hairy guy taking his shirt off and dancing unmolested under the spray of the water truck—then Rodgers’ streaking half-tanned body carrying some bulky red thing as the murmuring crowd gasped then applauded in collective amusement before loudly booing the determined deputies and police giving chase.

Without going into graphic detail or much more nostalgic self-indulgence, I will say that it took a few seconds to understand what exactly the hell was going on.

I had seen streakers before, knew pretty well what a naked man should look like, but for some reason I could not immediately put it all together. Maybe it was because streaking nudity juxtaposing so much raw, mechanized, demo derby violence just seemed too far out. I do remember leaning over the cattle chute, where some other photographers were shooting their greedy little brains out, and snapping off a few shots of "The Streaker" before realizing, as Rodgers approached us then did a half-turn before falling face down and writhing in the dirt about twenty feet before the press pit, electric juice convulsing his body and totally harshing my mellow, that Andrew had it covered and that maybe someone ought to start reporting on this crazy-ass story.

New to town, I remember meeting Teton County's iconic Sheriff Bob Zimmer for the first time the next day, a Monday, during follow-up on the incident. My introduction to the popular and wily Wyoming lawman over, he told me, in his faux-gruff way, that he knew perfectly well why I was here. “Your job is to find out what happened," Zimmer said, toying with his giant snow-white handlebar mustache. "And mine is to keep you from making us look like ass----s.”

Zimmer would strenuously defend his deputy’s use of the "taser," citing, among other reasons, Rodgers strange toting of a fire extinguisher, as well as vow to meet Mr. Rodgers in the middle of the rodeo arena this year and shake Wyoming's most highly publicized exhibitionist/90-day Wonder's hand. (Jesus, what if they both show up naked as jay birds?)

Navel-gazing editorials about streaking, community standards and public nudity having already been written by others more inspired than myself, I will wrap up this little stroll down memory lane here by saying: Like many people, truth be told, I am damn curious if someone or someones, as widely rumoured, will bare it all this year at the demo derby.

Somewhat guiltily, I confess that if they do I hope they get away with it without anyone getting hurt or "tased" or worse. And I doubt if even the tasers' most passionate defenders over at the T.C.S.O. would want to inflict 50,000 volts just to spare Johnny eating his snow cone a little naked flesh.

Perhaps the real questions to be asked amid all the hand-wringing about nakedness and nudity in public life and the many more cases of it sure to come: Is the media pandering to debased and lurid public fascination by hyping this crazy tale about a little errant tail, and, by doing so, encouraging more bothersome streakers? Or, is it merely serving the public interest by sensationalizing a story with nudity and violence at its center while also doing its job of informing people about law enforcement's latest advances in crowd control, tactical weapons usage and how, where, why and to whose ends these devices and methods are being applied?

Well, the simple answer, in my estimation, is both. 'cause, you see, it's real hard out there being a pimp, n'est-ce pas, mon amis?

AP Interview: Federal wildlife chief stresses science

By JUDITH KOHLER
Associated Press

LAKEWOOD, Colo. -- Mitch King calls himself an eternal optimist, which must come in handy in his job as regional director of the federal agency that has to make decisions about grizzly bears, wolves, lynx, livestock grazing on public lands and the Preble's meadow jumping mouse.

(Click & Read on courtsey of Agweek)

(Photo credit: "Timber Wolf Cubs" courtsey of Junglewalk.com)

Montana, Idaho still push for wolf delisting

By MIKE STARK
Billings Gazette

BILLINGS, Mont. -- Wyoming has been denied another chance to control its wolf population, but Montana and Idaho are still hoping they have a shot.

Earlier this week, the federal government rejected the state of Wyoming's request to remove wolves in Montana, Idaho and Wyoming from the endangered species list and pass management to those three states.

The federal government's decision announced Monday may renew focus on a proposal by officials in Montana and Idaho last year to delist wolves in those two states while the dispute with Wyoming drags on.

"It affirms our resolve even more to continue our efforts to delist in Montana and Idaho separately," said Carolyn Sime, head of the wolf program at Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks.

(Click & Read on courtsey of The Casper Star-Tribune)

Hells Angels Plead Guilty

By CORY MATTESON
Star-Tribune Staff Writer

Three members of the Hells Angels motorcycle club, in Cody for the annual World Run, appeared at the Park County courthouse in connection with their Wednesday arrests, according to a release issued by Lee Haines, spokesman for the joint Park County/Cody/ Powell law enforcement agencies policing the rally.

The three appear to be the only ones to appear in court in connection with the Hells Angels annual retreat, according to police.

(Click & Read on courtsey of the Casper Star-Tribune)

(Photo Credit: "Angels" courtsey of Photography blog)

Detainee Abuse Charges Feared: Shield Sought From '96 War Crimes Act

By R. JEFFREY SMITH
Washington Post Staff Writer
Filed Friday July 28

An obscure law approved by a Republican-controlled Congress a decade ago has made the Bush administration nervous that officials and troops involved in handling detainee matters might be accused of committing war crimes, and prosecuted at some point in U.S. courts.

Senior officials have responded by drafting legislation that would grant U.S. personnel involved in the terrorism fight new protections against prosecution for past violations of the War Crimes Act of 1996. That law criminalizes violations of the Geneva Conventions governing conduct in war and threatens the death penalty if U.S.-held detainees die in custody from abusive treatment.

In light of a recent Supreme Court ruling that the international Conventions apply to the treatment of detainees in the terrorism fight, Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales has spoken privately with Republican lawmakers about the need for such "protections," according to someone who heard his remarks last week.

Gonzales told the lawmakers that a shield is needed for actions taken by U.S. personnel under a 2002 presidential order, which the Supreme Court declared illegal, and under Justice Department legal opinions that have been withdrawn under fire, the source said. A spokeswoman for Gonzales, Tasia Scolinos, declined to comment on Gonzales's remarks.

The Justice Department's top legal adviser, Steven G. Bradbury, separately testified two weeks ago that Congress must give new "definition and certainty" to captors' risk of prosecution for coercive interrogations that fall short of outright torture.

(Click & Read on courtsey of The Washington Post)

(Photo Credit: "War" bumper-sticker courtsey of W. Huber & Cre8tive Visions)

Cops Beef-Up for Hells Angels

By GIL BRADY
Staff ink-stained wretch
Filed at 2:24 pm

JACKSON, Wyo. (CT) – As Hells Angels motor through Jackson on the way to Cody for their World Run rally, Jackson police say they’re armed and ready for any run-ins with the world famous renegades.

“We’ll have a second car with a long gun at the low ready,” Det.-Sgt. Todd Smith of The Jackson Police Department said Thursday when asked about reports of local law enforcement appearing to be more heavily armed than usual.

Smith made clear that the beefed-up security was not aimed at all bikers, only those clearly wearing clothing and insignias identifying them as Hells Angels members.

In Cody, the Casper Star-Tribune reported, as many as 3,000 bikers are expected to descend on the city. According to the Associated Press, the national Hells Angels rally has been at the heart of public controversey. “We’ll be glad when they’re gone,” Cody City Administrator Laurie Kadrich reportedly told the AP.

Cody hosted the Hells Angels twenty years ago with locals recalling few problems.

Smith said patrol squads would be toting rifles because Hells Angels members are notorious for assaulting police officers and have a propensity for violence. "We’ll do whatever we have to make sure [our officers] get home safe at night," he added.

California Hells Angels member George Christie recently told the AP that he belongs to a motorcycle club, not a criminal organization. “We’ve never been proven to be a criminal gang,” he said, adding that Hells Angels members are a brotherhood that values respect.

Cody, Wyo., is hosting the “World Run” rally from Wednesday through Sunday.

(Photo credit: coutsey of max.msn)

American Indians Protest Bar Development

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Filed at 4:34 a.m. ET

STURGIS, S.D. (AP) -- American Indian tribes trying to protect their sacred Bear Butte have purchased land around the Black Hills historic site to keep it out of the hands of developers eager to serve bikers who roar into town every year for a raucous road rally.

According to Meade County records, three tribes have spent $1.3 million over the last two decades to buy 2.6 square miles of land around usually serene Bear Butte, where colorful prayer flags line a hiking trail and Indians have come for centuries to fast and hold ceremonies.

For a week every August, the sound of the South Dakota wind is replaced in the hills by the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. This year's rally is Aug. 7-13, and Indians from several tribes are camping out near the butte in protest of bars and other entertainment venues they feel violate the sanctity of the 3,100-foot mountain.

''The mountain is sacred to us,'' said George Whipple, executive director of Tribal Land Enterprise, an arm of the Rosebud Sioux Tribe. ''Therefore, the cultural and spiritual value of the land was what was significant to us. By keeping with that tradition, we're also keeping it from being developed into a beer garden.''

(Click & Read on courtsey of The New York Times)

(Photo Credits: "Flag Raising,"courtsey of the Rapid City Journal;"Moon over Bear Butte," courtsey of Heeb Photo)

Kerouac's `Road' will be unrolled: Original scroll set for publication

By JENNA RUSSELL, Boston Globe Staff

It's literary legend, how Jack Kerouac wrote his breakthrough novel ``On the Road" in a three-week frenzy of creativity in spring 1951, typing the story without paragraphs or page breaks onto a 119-foot scroll of nearly translucent paper.

(Click & Read on courtsey of The Boston Globe)

(Photo Credit: Courtsey of Roxie.com)

Feds Deny Wyo. Petition to Delist Wolves

By BEN NEARY
Associated Press writer
Originally published July 24, 2006; 11:12 PM

CHEYENNE, Wyo. (AP/WP) -- The U.S. government on Monday denied a request from Wyoming to remove gray wolves in the northern Rocky Mountains from the federal list of threatened and endangered species.

(Click & Read on courtsey of The Washington Post)

(Photo Credit: Guaranteed pet staph infection cure)

The Wake Up Call

A freely available Opinion-Editorial

By BILL O'REILLY, Jul 20, 2006

While millions of Americans are enjoying the summer, taking nice trips and relaxing on the sand, the leaders of Hezbollah are also enjoying the season. From their sanctuary in Iran, the terrorists have announced that they are armed and ready for World War III.

(Click & Read on courtsey of Bill O'Reilly.com)

(Stay tuned....next week The CT will examine the rhetorical styles and common techniques used by the nation's top OP-ED writers, including Bill O'Reilly)

Wyoming Doesn't Make FutureGen Cut

BREAKING NEWS...
(updated July 26, 1pm)

By DUSTIN BLEIZEFFER
Star-Tribune energy reporter

Wyoming has been cut from a list of prospective sites to host the world's first ever zero-emissions coal-fueled power plant.

(Click & Read on courtsey of the Casper-Star Tribune)

COAL'S KNOCKOUT BLOW TO KYOTO:
By 2012, according to The Christian Science Monitor, expected cuts in greenhouse-gas emissions under the Kyoto treaty will be swamped by emissions from a surge of new coal-fired plants built in China, India, and the United States

(SOURCES: UDI-PLATT'S, US ENERGY INFORMATION ADMINISTRATION, AND INDUSTRY ESTIMATES; SCOTT WALLACE - STAFF)

Conspiracy Theories 101

A freely available Opinion-Editorial

By STANLEY FISH
for The New York Times

ANDES, N.Y. -- KEVIN BARRETT, a lecturer at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, has now taken his place alongside Ward Churchill of the University of Colorado as a college teacher whose views on 9/11 have led politicians and ordinary citizens to demand that he be fired.

(Click & read on courtsey of The New York Times)

(Photo credit: courtsey of UMASS/Dartmouth)

Between Jokes, Book Plugs and Bear Hugs, Richardson Says Bush Administration Energy Policy "Not Sensible"

By GIL BRADY, Staff Ink-Stained Wretch

JACKSON, Wyo. (CT) — Until he arrived last Tuesday, it was the ever-urbane Eliot Spitzer’s day to bask in the land of the sinking hot western sun. But when Gov. Bill Richardson strode across the high valley ranch grass here, where Mr. Spitzer had been patiently sipping a beer and chatting up awestruck big-money donors, even the guest of honor noted the damp necks turning to watch the larger man in the navy blazer entering the big white tent.

“OHMYGOD, there he is!” One young and darkly exotic for Wyoming damsel, who had been wondering aloud just minutes earlier if New Mexico’s governor would arrive as promised, said with a blush of gushing embarrassment as Richardson ambled in.

Spitzer’s sprucely-dressed mob of five or so, who had been relentlessly peppering the famous Wall Street gangbuster about whether the SEC had gotten its act together, suddenly went dumb as Richardson pressed a swarm of eager palms, two chesty body men in tow, and then posed for a brief photo-op with the slim man destined, in poll after poll, to be The Empire state’s next governor.

But it would be old hand Texas Democrat Ben Barnes, a former Lone Star state political prodigy, who, at 21, became a state rep and then youngest Texas house speaker, ruling that chamber through the 60s and more so as lieutenant governor till the early 70s, who drew the only high-powered bear hug from the formerly laid back governor. Thus suggesting, with a single squeeze, that nobody embodies the notion of hidden potential energy better than Bill Richardson at a standard-issue political quickie.

“It’s so good to see you! How the hell are you?” One or both men appeared to say while clenched palm-to-nape before the open tent flap framing the caterer’s truck.

Barnes, now a big-time money man and one of only eight players to find John Kerry over $500,000 for his failed White House run, played barn-storming author Tuesday, signing free copies of his political memoir “Barn Burning Barn Building” for a slew of giddy, if sometimes dimly aware of whom they were schmoozing, "Spitzardson" groupies.

During the 2004 presidential race, Barnes raised hell when he went on "60 Minutes" and repeated his controversial, oft-disputed and widely reported claim that, as Texas lieutenant governor in the late 60s, he had “personally interceded” with Texas Air National Guard officials to get George W. Bush into the Guard and presumably out of the Vietnam War.

In his speech, which ranged between jokey gregariousness and sober seriousness, before about 125 ranchero-fabulous attendees, natty East Coast cheerleaders, local Democratic officials and western Democratic honchos, including fellow Gov. Brian Schweitzer of Montanna, Richardson sang the praises of his long-time Texan buddy before endorsing Barnes’ book.

“There’s also another giant here from Texas. Now in New Mexico, Texans have a little too much power over our state,” Richardson said, pausing to savor a flinty wine-scented chuckle or two from the audience. “But this guy is the epitome of great government. And he has a book out there. No, I don’t have a percentage. Ben Barnes, former lieutenant governor and speaker of the Texas house. Please give him a big hand!

Richardson warmed up the lively mix of well-heeled Cowboy-state-loving New Yorkers, tipsily-oogling locals and Democratic Party leaders by reassurring them that Spitzer's "55-point" lead over his rival made him a sure winner. "In fact, why are we here?," he joked

After complementing Spitzer's record of prosecuting Wall Street wrongdoers and plugging Barnes' tome and, perhaps, stirring some dormant passion among long-pining Texas Democrats, Richardson, who has not ruled out a White House run in 2008, discussed America’s energy crisis and did not pass up taking a swipe at the Bush administration’s policies and Big Oil’s priorities.

“I think the Bush administration has not invested in renewable technologies and clean coal,” Richardson said when asked for clarification. “The talk is good. But the incentives aren’t there. And I believe that what is important is a sensible energy policy that reduces our energy dependence on foreign oil. [About] 75%, right now. We should drill in America. We should drill more for natural gas, but we should also invest in new renewable technologies and clean coal. And we’re not doing it.”

In his opinion, Richardson added, Washington policymakers and American oil companies needed to refocus their efforts back home.

"I think there is a place for sensible energy in a new ecological environment,” Richardson said. “There’s plenty of other places we can drill: New Mexico, Wyoming, Texas, Oklahoma and the Rocky Mountain states—one of the most fertile areas for drilling. The problem with our major oil companies is they’re not drilling in America as much as they should. They’re drilling in Saudi Arabia, the Middle East. And we need to get them to drill more in our country.”

The Clinton-era Secretary of Energy also stood by his opposition to the Bush administration’s desire to drill in Alaska’s Artic National Wildlife Refuge.

Democrats nationwide are seizing upon record oil and gas prices by reviving a populist charge that White House watchdogs such as Judicial Watch and the Sierra Club have leveled before. Critics say that Vice-President Cheney’s 2001 “Energy Task Force,” formerly known as the National Energy Policy Development Group, was unduly influenced by major U.S. oil company lobbyists who, after donating heavily to the Bush-Cheney 2000 campaign, wrote White House energy policies from behind closed doors.

To this day, numerous lawsuits and Freedom of Information requests have failed to gain full access to the task force’s activities, which have remained largely classified. Cheney said in 2001 that America could not “simply conserve or ration our way out of the situation we’re in,” according to MSNBC reporter Tom Curry.

But not everything out under the hazy Tetons, whose gray granite spires and peaks appeared dulled from raging forest fires to the north and south, was about high-minded partisan sniping. Asked why a 50-point frontrunner was in Wyoming and whether it was to help raise the profile of local and national Democratic Party candidates, Spitzer said that raising funds was important in any campaign.

“And if I can lend some excitement to some other races that’s wonderful. If I can help Bill Richardson that’s great. Gov. Schweitzer that’s great. These guys are leaders in our national party, they’ve done spectacular jobs and so anything I can contribute, I want to.”

Following a rodeo-style display of trick horsemanship, which culminated when Montana Gov. Brian Schweitzer corralled one lean cow before sunset under Richardson's amused gaze, Chuck Herz, a tall, rangy and plainspoken man in a checked cowboy shirt and Democratic aspirant for Wyoming’s legislature, was asked what he thought about the evening’s turnout.

“We in Teton County didn’t do much to get it. But we helped a little. This was really Richard Fields' occasion,” Herz said, referring to ranchowner Richard T. Fields of Jackson Hole Land & Cattle Company, where last week’s fund-raiser for Spitzer was held. “And his organization that put this together. He seems to be a really nice guy, and a really high-powered guy who knows what he’s doing.”

Answering whether he hoped some of the magic from the celebrity Democrats in attendance would rub off on his campaign, Herz said: “I don’t know that we need magic from out-of-state to get our campaigns energized. We’ve got great candidates. Not just me but Hank Phibbs over here and Ben Ellis. I’m very excited about the whole slate that we have.”

Herz, a supporter of Wyoming’s recent two-year repel of the state's food tax to help middle and low income residents here, said that he thought America was “facing some tough realities in our world and in our country and therefore in our state. And we have got to get together and get real in order to address those.”

One example Herz cited as an entrenched political problem was “the kind of divisive politics we’ve had in this country for a while now,” which, he added, did not apply “to the same extent in Wyoming.

"We need to keep it that way in Wyoming,” Herz added. “We are in danger of killing the things we love and I think the people around here know that. We need to preserve those things and not sort of piece meal, gerbel (sic) them away."

Clutching a wine glass and shyly approaching Mr. Spitzer after his speech, Melissa Turley, a first-time politician and candidate for Jackson’s Town Council, was introduced by a friend and received Spitzer’s blessings on her fledgling career.

Wishing her well, New York’s presumptive next governor told the thirtyish, blonde-haired novitiate that “politics was a worthwhile and noble” endeavor so long as one always remembered to do what was right.

While no tally has been released, Democratic Party officials here reported that at least a few $1,000 and even $10,000 donations were given. Whether some or all the money will go into Spitzer's gubernartorial coffers, rumoured presidential warchest, or a portion redistributed to other Democrats has not been decided, according to a Wyoming Democratic Party official.

(Photo Credits: Tetons ablaze; courtsey of Mountainweather; Ben Barnes, courtsey of FOX News; Gov. B. Richardson, courtsey of Hispania News; VP D. Cheney, courtsey of T.Dejak for the AP, NYS Attorney General E.Spitzer; courtsey of IMG/ MSNBC)

Spitzer: Gov't Secrecy a "Bad Thing"

By GIL BRADY
The Cowboy Picayune Sunny Times

Updated July 21 5 PM, MST

JACKSON, Wyo. (CT) –After delivering a speech Tuesday where he mocked his spiffy new cowboy boots, vowed to make his home state “better” and drew cheers from about 125 supporters, prominent western Democrats and many resettled New Yorkers, NYS Attorney General Eliot Spitzer stepped outside the tent of his mountain valley fund-raiser for his New York gubernatorial bid to discuss Wyoming’s newly legislated secrecy laws.

This winter, Wyoming’s legislature passed a bill making communications, including memos and e-mails, between a legislator and their staff in a non-public setting confidential and off the public record.

Gov. Dave Freudenthal (D-WY) vetoed it, but legislators in both houses rallied a two-thirds vote to kill the veto.

Assessing Wyoming in an on-line report this spring, The Center for Public Integrity, a Beltway-based society of professional journalists, ranked the Cowboy state 45th in the nation for making basic information on state legislators’ income, assets and potential conflicts of interest available to the public.

Out of 100 points for good governance, Wyoming received 40, according to C.P.I.’s report.

Defending passage of the "Privileged Communications" bill on his Planet Jackson Hole Web log, state Rep. Keith Gingery (R-Dubois/Jackson) reportedly wrote: “This is an issue of checks and balances between the branches of government. If the Legislature has to turn over all scribbly notes and drafts, then it would be only fair that the governor turn over all of his notes and the chief justice of the Wyoming Supreme Court turn over his drafts to opinions.”

Opposing legislators in a March press release, Freudenthal said: “The lobbyists and the others will retain their access, but the average citizen will not be able to know what is going on. Unfortunately, the Legislature decided that, as an institution, they wanted to retain the capacity to be a privileged class of elected officials. This is really about their desire to remain less than transparent to the average citizen."

Asked about Wyoming receiving an “F” for governance from a national watchdog group this year, Spitzer said that he did not know the particulars of the Wyoming law, and as a prosecutor he knew better than to presume facts before stating them.

"Clearly, the theoretical issues you’re talking about are enormously important, Spitzer said. "Conflicts of interest that underlie decisions when those conflicts aren’t disclosed and when the public can't evaluate what might motivate people, and the decisions they’re making, can lead…to a governance structure that is improper and unfair and doesn’t reflect the public interest. Secrecy is also a bad thing,” he added.

Spitzer qualified his remarks by saying there are moments in negotiations between government and the private sector when involved parties desire secrecy for sound reasons.

“Not every fact in a negotiation can be made public at the first moment,” he said. “But, there should be access, there should be transparency and openness about the way government operates.”

In the absence of openness in government, said Spitzer: “You don’t know what deals are being cut and why. And so transparency is an important issue that we should strive for.”

Between gesturing expressively, apologizing for being from "the Bronx" and naive to such western traditions as trick horse shows, which he called "horse fighting," Spitzer joked about his pristine calf-skin boots and blamed his wife, Silda, for making him wear them upon arriving at their Jackon Hole hotel.

Spitzer told his eager supporters--some of whom, said Wyoming Democratic Chairman Mike Gierau, gave at least $1,000--that despite his solid lead in most polls over his Long Island rival, Dem. Thomas Suzzi, going into a prevent defense was not in his nature.

“But I’m going to keep going out there and talking,” Spitzer said. “Which means the greatest risk I face is saying something that people won’t like. But I’m going to keep doing it, because that’s the way I believe in campaigning.”

(Photo Credits: NYS Attorney General E.Spitzer; courtsey of IMG: @ www.msnbc.msn.com; WY state Rep. K.Gingery, courtsey of www.legisweb.state.wy.us/2006/members/GINGERY.jpg; WY Gov. D. Freudenthal; courtsey of www.willienelson.com/pppics/gov.jpg)

Western Dems Rally for Spitzer

By GIL BRADY, updated July, 20 (3pm)

JACKSON, Wyo. (CT) — About 125 supporters and prominent western Democrats gathered Tuesday evening under a tent pitched on a valley ranch here to raise money for N.Y. Attorney General Eliot Spitzer’s bid for governor of New York.

Besides Spitzer, other marquee Democrats in attendance included Montana Gov. Brian Schweitzer and guest speaker Gov. Bill Richardson of New Mexico. Richardson, who also chairs the Democratic Governors Association, has not ruled out a White House run in 2008.

Asked if he was running for president in ‘08, Richardson said: “Who knows? I got to get re-elected first in November like Govenor Freudenthal. Then we’ll see. We’ll see what happens.”

The former Clinton-era Secretary of Energy praised Spitzer’s political star power and record of prosecuting Wall Street wrongdoers. “We see a major pick-up in Eliot Spitzer winning in New York,” Richardson said. “And when a lot of my western fans got this event going together, I wanted to be here.”

Richardson told the lively mix of supporters and local Democratic party leaders that Spitzer’s “55-point lead” over his rival made him a sure winner. “In fact, why are we here? Richardson joked.

"If we’re going to change this county, it’s going to happen in the states, Richardson said. “Jobs, renewable energy, health care, making sure America moves forward. And right now there’s nobody better, in this county, with the potential to become a national leader instantaneously with this election, than Eliot Spitzer.”

Richardson also said he supported Spitzer’s pro-consumer, pro-environment, pro-economic growth agenda.

In his twenty minuted speech, Spitzer thanked his wife, Silda, a fellow Harvard Law School graduate, for teaching him the difference between courage and stupidity. He also said that his efforts to reform Wall Street were not “some populist crusade to redistribute wealth” but rather “a very simple effort to get people to play by the rules.”

After thanking Schweitzer and Richardson for advice on energy policy, Spitzer invited Schweitzer to speak.

“You’ve already heard from the most articulate and best-looking democratic governor, Bill Richardson,” Schweitzer said. “And you’ve been hearing from the most successful candidate for governor of any state in America...and I’m just on up the canyon a little bit. But we had some success in Montana and those of you in Wyoming know that it’s okay to be green in the West.”

Dubbed "Montana's Coal Cowboy," Schweitzer appeared earlier this year on the TV news magazine "60 Minutes" to promote his controversial plan to turn his state's billions of tons of coal deposits into synthetic liquid fuel, or synfuel.

"Why wouldn’t we create an economic engine that will take us into the next century, and let those sheiks and dictators and rats and crooks from all over the world boil in their own oil?" Schweitzer said in a February press conference, according to CBS News reporter Lesley Stahl.

Meanwhile, New York Republican Gov. Pataki, who trailed Spitzer in most early polls by as much as a 3-1 margin, has announced he will not seek re-election and will leave office at the end of the year. Pataki, the longest-serving current U.S. governor, has never lost a competitive political race. As reported by The Sioux City Journal, Pataki will not decide on his poltical future, including an '08 presidential run, until sometime after the 2006 midterm elections.

Dem. Thomas Suzzi, Spitzer’s lone gubernatorial rival, is Nassau County, New York’s county executive and currently trails Spitzer by wide margins in most polls.

As the edges of the Tetons dulled behind a haze of summer forest fires near sunset, Jackson Hole Land & Cattle Co. ranch owner Richard T. Fields held a trick horse demonstration, which culminated when Schweitzer, riding on horseback, corralled a cow as about 75 spectators hooted and hollered from the grandstand.

Besides listening to speeches, enjoying beverages, hors d'oeuvres and rodeo-style horsemanship, as well as dancing to a country western band, an e-mail encouraged attendees here to donate up to $10,000 for Spitzer's campaign.

Leaning against a grandstand armrail, Mike Gierau, a local restaurateur, county commissioner and Wyoming Democratic Party Chairman, said he had "absolutely no idea," when asked how much money had been raised for Spitzer locally. When pressed about $1,000 donors, he laughed and said "there were more than a couple of $1,000 donors."

Depending on how much money is raised here, Gierau explained, the Democratic Party could decide to "kick-back to the state party for helping put it together."

In an unscripted moment, Spitzer said he would be back in New York on Wednesday, proudly wearing his newly acquired cowboy boots.

(Photo Credit: Gov. Bill Richardson, AP on-line; Silda & Elliot Spitzer, courtsey of Spitzer2006.org; Gov. Schweitzer, courtsey of Heartlandpac.org; WY Dem. Party Chariman, Mike Gierau, on-line stock photo)

3-Way Lincoln County Sheriff's Race Focuses on Drugs & Domestic Violence

By GIL BRADY, Staff Ink-Stained Wretch


AFTON, Wyo. (CT) -- Standing out in the spring primary field is hard when you are one of three candidates running for sheriff. But choosing among them stands to be harder for voters from Alpine, Afton, Kemmerer, Fairview, Smoot and beyond when all three contenders are veteran Wyoming lawmen, longtime county residents and registered Republicans.

Lincoln County Undersheriff Tim Malik, Jackson Det.-Sgt. Todd Smith, and former Lincoln County sheriff’s deputy Val Clement are running for sheriff in this gas, coal, oil and farming community of about 16,000 where domestic violence is on the rise, according to official statistics.

Current Lincoln County Sheriff Lee S. Gardner has said he will not seek reelection for the nearly $60,000 per year job.

During separate interviews this spring, each candidate identified domestic violence as one of many countywide problems that included: methamphetamine activity, the threat of terrorism, and traffic fatalities.

Malik, 55, described himself as a 27-year lawman and former Vietnam veteran who lives in Afton and served as a police officer there, as well as Kemmerer, prior to joining the sheriff’s department twelve years ago. Promoted to undersheriff in 2004, Malik has been endorsed by his boss.

“I believe Tim Malik is the best lawman in the state. And I heartily endorse him,” Gardner said in a phone interview. “He’s the right guy. He has the experience and has the respect of the law enforcement community.”

Malik said he is running for sheriff because he loves the job, has a reputation for dealing with people fairly, and a belief in “taking a proactive approach to law enforcement.”

Protecting Lincoln’s energy industry from the “threat of terrorism” is a high priority for Malik. As he explained, last year the FBI arrested a man in Idaho for allegedly plotting to blow up western U.S. pipelines and provide material aid to al-Qaida.

Smith, 36, an Alpine resident and highly decorated 16-year Teton County peace officer, currently supervises the Jackson Police Department’s detective squad. Smith joined the department as a 21-year-old rookie and said that public service and new challenges, rather than money, are why he decided to run for office.

Though being elected sheriff would mean accepting a pay cut, Smith said the payoff would be in serving his community. “I’d like to give something back to where I lay my head to rest at night,” Smith said recently, during an interview in his Jackson office.

Teton County Sheriff Bob Zimmer, Sublette County Sheriff Wayne Bardin, Alpine Town Judge Daniel Hesse and retired Lincoln County schoolteacher Doug Broadhead have reportedly endorsed Smith’s candidacy.

“I support Todd Smith,” Hesse said in a recent phone interview. “Because he’s a helluva good cop. He’s professional, level-headed, and someone you’d like to have [watch] your back if ever there was a problem.”

Clement resides in Smoot and cited several community service awards during his 23 years in law enforcement, including a 2005 Division of Family Services Heroes. Clement said he started as a patrol officer with the Afton Police Department in 1982 where he was promoted to sergeant and oversaw many operations there.

More recently, Clement served as a Lincoln County sheriff’s deputy who was fired, he alleged in a phone interview this May, after announcing his intention to run for office.

Clement said he was running: “To keep qualified deputies in Lincoln, to serve the community, and to make the community better and the sheriff's department better.”

Alpine Mayor David Lloyd, Etna resident Marti Halverson, and Star Valley Bank president Rod Jensen reportedly endorse Clement’s candidacy.

“Val Clement has years of experience and a level of understanding and compassion that I believe is appropriate for the job,” Jensen said.

In a May press release, Clement said he would “work closely with all town leaders to assist them in providing services for their communities.” A Clement administration, he added, would be “proactive in protecting and serving our community. Officers would be assigned and trained to prevent crime, rather than react to it.”

Between 2000 and 2004, according to federal data, Lincoln’s population growth outpaced Wyoming by 4.6%. And, as Malik explained, such northern towns as Alpine have become bedroom communities to many residents who commute to work in Jackson. While to the south, Gardner said, boomtowns like Opal, Kemmerer, and La Barge are growing due to gas, coal, and oil production.

But as Lincoln’s population and economy changes, so is its crime profile.

Between 2000 and 2004, according to Wyoming Division of Criminal Investigation statistics, overall crime in Lincoln was 52% below the statewide average. However, violent crime here occurred slightly more often than Wyoming’s five-year rate of 25.8 murders, rapes, and aggravated assaults per 10,000 residents. And reported incidents of domestic violence rose and now rival neighboring Teton County, despite Lincoln averaging 4,796 fewer residents.

Addressing the issue in a May press release, Malik said: “I take domestic abuse problems very seriously.” During a recent interview in his Afton office, Malik said he has worked on the board of directors of The Turning Point, a domestic violence crisis center, and supports having a safe house built for victims.

Said Clement: “Domestic violence is going up because of job issues, money being tighter, and communication between couples is not happening anymore. One’s working, one’s home with the kids. There’s drugs and alcohol.”

As sheriff, Clement would seek more resources for counseling and crisis centers and classes to prevent domestic violence, if people would attend.

Asked about the county’s crime profile recently, Smith said that crime in Lincoln is slower than Teton County but that domestic violence and drug problems, especially methamphetamine activity, are top issues.

“Many drug cases in Teton County lead to sources in Lincoln County,” Smith said. “Everyone knows that meth labs tend to be less detected in rural areas.”

If elected, Smith would add more victim-witness services as well as promote zero-tolerance and rapid intervention for domestic offenders. His experience with modern investigative techniques, strong rapport with state criminal investigators, open-minded leadership style, and a community-oriented, proactive crime-prevention philosophy would benefit Lincoln County residents concerned about illegal drugs and traffic fatalities, Smith said.

Election officials report that statewide primaries for county office-seekers are scheduled for August 22.

(Photo Credits: Fairview, WY/USA, on-lile stock; JPD Det.-Sgt Todd Smith, courtsey of Todd Smith for LC Sheriff; Lincoln County aerial, on-line stock)

Cowboy Picayune-Sunny Times Reader's Quiz

Compiled by TRIPP FANTASTIC

Salaam! Salaam! O'Grand Ayatollah a la Curious Reader!

Below is a sample current events litmus test from The Church of the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Back 9, designed to weed out all undesirable interlocutors and undeserved devotees of the most holy & righteous Golf Bum Obb Putnam of Providence, RI!

Channel Tom Tomorrow and take with spiked tea:

1. Former Clinton White House Press Secretary Mike McCurry was a master?

a) Of disguise
b) Lover & International Man of Intrique
c) Of Zen Buddhism
d) Electrician
e) Classical Xylophonist
f) All of the above

2. The Sunday New York Times is must read piffle among Ivy League Yuppies because?

a) Its real estate section contains the most absurdly comprehensive and ridiculously exclusive listings in the tri-state area. (Can you say: "Your own private island dacha & vineyard awaits, anyone?")

b) Its metro section/diary provides tragically hip dilettantes and pseudo-intellectual poseurs with enough probing human-interest sob stories and glibly secular anecdotal insights to impress fellow, eternally preening cocktail habitues that they are in touch with the oppressively gritty urban reality surrounding them, which consigns less fortunate New Yorkers to make do without pipe-organ espresso makers, jolly and obsequious doormen, and tax-shelter & hedge-fund advice from graduates of The Wharton School of Corruption.

c) Its weekly chronicling of the ruthless breeding contest--(a.k.a The Weddings & Engagements Page)--is must read INTEL among the over-weaned and commingling DNAs of hyper-competitive Kleptocrats, Resume Gods, and Trust Fund Scions clawing their way past, around, and over the graying wits of their Ruling Elite paymasters, back-stabbing colleagues, & rival sycophants in their crazy-making climb to the soulless pinnacle of Mt. Cutthroat.

d) The snarky crypto-Catholic shibboleths of Maureen Dowd provide rich zingers for the cool kids to test out on each other in their daily water cooler bull sessions--to ease the cognitive-dissonance of the unceasing barrage of fascist-wannabe shouting heads on cable TV & talk radio--before weaving the cattiest of them into their mutual appreciation society Listserv e-mailers, desperately convincing themselves that, somehow, with petty cut-and-paste thinking, and the magical press of a button, they are contributing to a counter-Dark Age zeitgeist that will save the world by enlightening the dimly awakening converted to the wound-licking horror of facing another 8 years of W.'s, and every other right-wing nut job's, inexplicable ascendancy, brilliant Machiavellian high-handedness, unbearably unworthy longevity, and mind-fuckingly pious domination.

e) None of the above

3. We are most likely slaughtering hundreds of thousands of innocents & wasting hundreds of billions in Iraq because?

a) W. was one letter off when Karl Rove was giving him a lap dance and he overheard Uncle Dick tell Iran to go: "Saddam itself."

b) United Defense, makers of the Bradley fighting tank and other fast-track weapons systems, stood to win a nice slice of the unprecedented defense spending pie, which had the coincidental benefit of enriching Klan Bush's stake in The Carlyle Group, United Defense's majority share holder, vis-a-vis former President George H. Bush's classified role as "Adviser to Carlyle's Asian investment funds" before leaving in 2003.

c) W.'s undiagnosed A.D.D caused him to grow bored with ho-hum pressing issues like Homeland/Border Security, Illegal Immigration, Health Care Reform, and Balanced Budget Amendments when Uncle Dick shouted "Hey, Iran! Go, Saddam yourself!"

d) Ussama bin Laden is such an unprofitable mouthful for a National Guard ducking, Vietnam War avoiding, Skull & Bones skulking, Ivy League cowboy when the smart money is telling to find out what is buried under the sands of the Tigris & Euphrates.

e) Jenna wanted to make a Daddy's Girl Gone Wild video in one of Saddam's palaces over Spring Break.

f) Psychotic Christian Evangelicals, egged on by obsessive Neo-Con crypto-Zionists, have conned the impetuous W. into latching onto the messianic delusion of grandeur that a former obnoxious drunk and lifetime C-student has been ordained by God to bring about The Second Coming of Christ by instigating a Final Conflict between Jews, Christians, & Muslims in The Cradle of Civilization. Tangential events such as: 1) the recent launching of a Sanhedrin, the highest Jewish-legal tribunal in the land of Israel (the first time in 1,600 years) of 71 rabbis who have received special rabbinic ordination, as specified by Maimonides, to "authenticate a Messiah when he comes;" 2) the escalating worldwide hostilities between radical Jewish settlers & Hamas militants; 3) the intifada and the growing worldwide jihadi insurgency, as well as the rebirth of the Jewish state, somehow presages the recapture of Jerusalem. These geopolitical crisises are often cited by religious agitators, Christian extremists, and Rolex-wearing demagogues, on all sides, as proof of their encapsulated, self-aggrandizing prophecies. The creative minutiae and welter of meaningless details that apologists for these madcap doctrines successfully propagate, regardless of empirical facts to the contrary, tragically affirms that their followers & minions have swallowed--hook, line, and sinker--an irrational smorgasboard of idees fixes calculated to induce in the most impressionable of them a rabid, uncritical mind-set vulnerable to exploitative suggestions to carry-out the biddings of these modern day Tartuffees and inflame the already panendemic phenomena of mass genocidal hysteria. All this negative energy has been harnessed by all these materialistic men of rhetorical giftedness and wordly ambitions, so that a handful of their power hungry benefactors, blue-blooded Capitalists and Ruling Class henchmen can realize the bellicose money-making agenda of the G-8 (Ed-thanks anonymous reader!) Trilateralists.

g) All of the above.

4. A Neo-Con is?

a) Just like a regular con, only with bigger hair.

b) A foreign policy wet dream, hijacked from the Neo-Classical socio-political writings of University of Chicago professor Leo Strauss (circa 1930), championed by a zealous cabal of hawkish post-Reaganite crypto-Zionist wonks, justifying the parlaying of ancient Greek ideals (like the 'Noble Lie' from Plato's The Republic) on an amnesiatic, ahistoric, and inattentive public to sell them on the nakedly aggressive and hegemonic idea of projecting unprovoked US power to advance the patently imperialistic cause of resource exploitation and economic domination under the populist cloak of promoting preemptive global democratic reform as an unquestionable moral imperative (commonly referred to as the widely held & unexamined belief in American exceptionalism).

c) Something your mommy told you a girl could fall in love with too.

d) A hybrid car from Saturn that runs on corn oil, nail polish remover, oil, beer nuts, and lots and lots of oil.

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